EducationNews.org

 

An Interview with Stan Klein: The wisdom of people who grow up with disabilities 

Michael F. Shaughnessy - July 1, 2009
Senior Columnist EducationNews.org
Eastern New Mexico University
Portales, New Mexico

                                              

Stan is the author of Reflections from a Different Journey: What Adults with Disabilities Wish All Parents Knew (McGraw-Hill, 2004). This book is a collection of 40 inspiring short essays by successful adults with different disabilities. Essay authors were asked to write about something they wished their own parents had read or been told while they were growing up. Stan’s bio is at the end of this article for those wishing to know more about him.
 
1)   Stan, first of all, let me thank you for creating this book. I have worked with children, adolescents and adults with disabilities for the greater part of my life and feel that this is an important topic. Why did you first decide to do it?

 

The success of You Will Dreams New Dreams: Inspirational Personal Stories by Parents of Children with Disabilities (Kensington, 2001), a book of short essays that I co-edited, encouraged me about the short essay format. I wanted to do a book to illustrate that children with disabilities can grow up and be successful adults.

 

In discussing this with John Kemp, a friend of 30 years and a leading advocate for people with disabilities, we decided to collect short essays from successful adults who, like John, grew up with a disability. We asking them to write about something they wished their own parents had read or been told while they were growing up.

2)   Stan, are there any themes or threads?

 

We organized the 40 short essays we selected from hundreds of essays we received within five themes:

Love Me and Accept Me as I am;

Parents Are the Most Important Experts;

Parental Expectations;

Sexuality;

Education About Disability.

 

Many essays addressed more than one of the themes. Most of the essays praised and thanked parents for all their efforts. At the same time, the essays provided many useful suggestions.

 

3)      What were the overarching difficulties or issues?

Let me answer this question with brief quotes from essays within each theme:

 

Love Me and Accept Me as I am:

“My family gave me a sense of belonging and the ability to be confident in a nondisabled world…they also had the strength to bite their lips, stand back, and allow me to make my own mistakes.”

“We ask that we be accepted as we are and then look further—to discover our real differences…Our disability is only one of the many differences that make up our identity.”

 

Parents Are the Most Important Experts:

“… you know your child better than anyone. If the doctor tells you something you intuitively know is wrong, get more opinions until you feel comfortable…”

“It was…difficult for me feel that I belonged in the world. The physical environment excluded me…Parents can help by guiding their children toward alternative pathways…

 

Parental Expectations:

“Their attitude [about therapy] helped me feel that while I should work to achieve the best functioning possible, I was perfectly okay just the way I was.”

“My mother taught me to be realistic about my limitations, but to determine those limitations for myself…”

 

Sexuality:

“Why…do parents imply that this child's entire being and dating potential is pre-determined by…physical appearance?…”

“…I felt as if society expected me to suppress my sexuality and act as if it didn’t matter. Sexual intimacy was just something I would not, could not, do.”

 

Education About Disability:

“… help children understand that they have a disability…the disability is only part of who they are…”

“Teach your child to speak up for her or himself…rather than thank others for assisting your child…”

 

 

4)      What would the majority of the authors want to say to teachers? Doctors?

 

That’s a great question. Good book ideas!! My guess is that the themes would be similar especially about acceptance, expectations, and education about disability.

 

5)      Quick question---low expectations or high expectations, and what has the book found?

 

Authors advised parents to have high expectations. One complained that society seemed to have low expectations for people with disabilities and that some parents, teachers, and doctors buy into low expectations.

 

6)      The essay authors were “ successful”. What commonalities made them successful?

 

In her Foreword for the book, Marlee Matlin answered this question. She wrote:

“They are not people who have “overcome” their disabilities…they have overcome the prejudices of society that all too often stereotype people with disabilities in destructive ways.”

7)     Or, was it the parents whose love, care, concern and nurturing that helped them to be successful?

 

Marlee also addressed that question:

“…prejudice of prognosis…their parents did not accept the predictions of well-intentioned physicians and other professionals. With the love and support of their parents, they were not imprisoned by dire prognoses…they were encouraged dream, to try, to make mistakes, to be active participants in the life of their families and communities, and to reject the limitations suggested by scientific and clinical stereotypes.”

 

8)      Do you have a web site where readers can learn more about this or other books?

 

The website is: www.DisABILITIESBOOKS.com. It includes the three books I have co-edited in recent years as well as books written by people with disabilities and parents that I have published.

 

In this interview, I have already mentioned You Will Dream New Dreams and Reflections from a Different Journey, the third book is also a book of essays.

From There to Here: Stories of Adjustment to Spinal Cord Injury (No Limits Communications, 2004), co-edited with Gary Karp, includes forty-five short essays by women and men describing how they coped with a spinal cord injury.

9)  Currently, do we still have a chasm or gap between what parents know and what they need to know?

 

I claimed that I was an expert on parenting for some years prior to becoming a father. I have learned a great deal about parenting from my children who are now adults.

 

We know from readers that Reflections from a Different Journey gives parents and professionals a great deal of food for thought. The most important lessons are that parents and professionals can learn from adults with disabilities and as we wrote in our Introduction: “people with disabilities are, first and foremost, human beings—with the same needs and desires as people without disabilities.”

 

10)  What question have I neglected to ask?

 

I would like to include two commercial messages if I may. First, all the books I have mentioned can be purchased at www.DisABILITIESBOOKS.com; second, the website also includes information about how people can contact me for speaking gigs.

 

STAN’S BIO:

 

Stanley D. Klein, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, educator and editor, is a frequent speaker to parent and professional groups across the USA. From June 2007 through November 2008, he served as Co-Chair of the Obama ’08 Disability Policy Committee.

 

Two books co-edited by Dr. Klein were published in 2004. Reflections from a Different Journey: What Adults with Disabilities Wish All Parents Knew (McGraw-Hill), co-edited with John D. Kemp, with a Foreword by Marlee Matlin, Academy Award winning actress who is deaf, is a book of forty inspiring and realistic essays by successful adult role models.

 

From There to Here: Stories of Adjustment to Spinal Cord Injury (No Limits Communications), co-edited with Gary Karp, with a Foreword by Marcie Roth, Executive Director of the National Spinal Cord Injury Association, includes forty-five essays by women and men describing how they coped with a spinal cord injury.

 

In 2001, You Will Dream New Dreams, Inspiring Personal Stories by Parents of Children with Disabilities (Kensington Books) was co-edited with Kim Schive with a Foreword by Richard Thornburgh, former Governor of Pennsylvania and a parent. A book for new parents of children with disabilities and professionals, it includes sixty-three short essays by “veteran” parents.

 

In addition, Dr. Klein is the author of one book, co-editor of three, and series editor of fourteen. He is a regular contributor to inSight, the national newsletter of The Arc. Previously, he helped Merrill Lynch establish its Families of Children with Disabilities Program and served as “Special Needs Expert” at Parents.com (Parents magazine Web site).

 

Dr. Klein co-founded Exceptional Parent magazine in 1971 and served as editor-in-chief until 1997. During that time, he was the author or co-author of over 200 articles and editorials.

 

In 1996, he retired as Professor of Psychology and Director of the Counseling Service at the New England College of Optometry. He has also taught at Simmons College School of Social Work, University of Massachusetts/Boston, Clark University, Boston University, Wheelock College, Emmanuel College, Lesley University, Indiana University, and the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology.

 

Dr. Klein began working with children with disabilities in 1954 as a camp counselor while he was a college student. Dr. Klein received his Ph.D. in psychology from Clark University in 1963. He has received numerous national awards.