Homeschoolers Threaten Our Cultural Comfort

Sonny Scott
www.djournal.com/pages/default.asp
Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal, Tupelo, Ms.

You see them at the grocery, or in a discount store.

It's a big family by today's standards - "just like stair steps," as the old folks say. Freshly scrubbed boys with neatly trimmed hair and girls with braids, in clean but unfashionable clothes follow mom through the store as she fills her no-frills shopping list.

There's no begging for gimcracks, no fretting, and no threats from mom. The older watch the younger, freeing mom to go peacefully about her task.

You are looking at some of the estimated 2 million children being home schooled in the U.S., and the number is growing. Their reputation for academic achievement has caused colleges to begin aggressively recruiting them. Savings to the taxpayers in instructional costs are conservatively estimated at $4 billion, and some place the figure as high as $9 billion. When you consider that these families pay taxes to support public schools, but demand nothing from them, it seems quite a deal for the public.

Home schooling parents are usually better educated than the norm, and are more likely to attend worship services. Their motives are many and varied. Some fear contagion from the anti-clericalism, coarse speech, suggestive behavior and hedonistic values that characterize secular schools. Others are concerned for their children's safety. Some want their children to be challenged beyond the minimal competencies of the public schools. Concern for a theistic world view largely permeates the movement.

Indications are that home schooling is working well for the kids, and the parents are pleased with their choice, but the practice is coming under increasing suspicion, and even official attack, as in California.

Why do we hate (or at least distrust) these people so much?

Methinks American middle-class people are uncomfortable around the homeschooled for the same reason the alcoholic is uneasy around the teetotaler.

Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles. Those families are willing to render unto Caesar the things that Caesar's be, but they draw the line at their children. Those of us who have put our trust in the secular state (and effectively surrendered our children to it) recognize this act of defiance as a rejection of our values, and we reject them in return.

Just as the jealous Chaldeans schemed to bring the wrath of the king upon the Hebrew eunuchs, we are happy to sic the state's bureaucrats on these "trouble makers." Their implicit rejection of America's most venerated idol, Materialism, (a.k.a. "Individualism") spurs us to heat the furnace and feed the lions.

Young families must make the decision: Will junior go to day care and day school, or will mom stay home and raise him? The rationalizations begin. "A family just can't make it on one income." (Our parents did.) "It just costs so much to raise a child nowadays." (Yeah, if you buy brand-name clothing, pre-prepared food, join every club and activity, and spend half the cost of a house on the daughter's wedding, it does.) And so, the decision is made. We give up the bulk of our waking hours with our children, as well as the formation of their minds, philosophies, and attitudes, to strangers. We compensate by getting a boat to take them to the river, a van to carry them to Little League, a 2,800-square-foot house, an ATV, a zero-turn Cub Cadet, and a fund to finance a brand-name college education. And most significantly, we claim "our right" to pursue a career for our own "self-fulfillment."

Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn. We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity. We are tired from working extra jobs, and the looming depression threatens our 401k's. Credit cards are nearly maxed, and it costs a $100 to fuel the Suburban.

Now the kid is raising h... again, demanding the latest Play Station as his price for doing his school work ... and there goes that modest young woman in the home-made dress with her four bright-eyed, well-behaved home-schooled children in tow. Wouldn't you just love to wipe that serene look right off her smug face?

Is it any wonder we hate her so?


Comments (19)

Thomgrl
Said this on 8-18-2008 At 10:15 pm
I really like this article. I think it holds a great deal of truth. I plan to send this to my friends who homeschool--friends whom I value very much. By the way, I'm a mother of 2, a theist and a public school teacher...
God Bless!
Angeleno
Said this on 8-19-2008 At 08:33 am
I don't believe it's the general public that opposes homeschooling: Primarily, it's teachers who resent the implicit criticism. Secondarily, it's the politically-correct brigade which hates to see anyone escape their indoctrination mills.
Joseph Scala
Said this on 8-19-2008 At 08:57 am
This article has the truth in it. Public schools are nothing more then large Corporations that are not in the busniess of educating children. The school's are the largest empolyers in this country yet supply no educated services to the special education students yet take the money. The Department of Education is well aware of how the states rip off federal funding. I have two boy's one is entering college and the other is now in the 10 grade and they are doing great. Keep home schooling
dee
Said this on 8-19-2008 At 09:00 am
Interesting approach. I am not sure it is a matter of being jealous, but more a matter of a need for conformity. We are driven to fit in from a young age, and any time someone decides to take a different path then the "norm" they are eyed with suspicion.
Wendy Komancheck
Said this on 8-19-2008 At 11:16 am
Great article with some truth. But remember sin exists for everyone, and more importantly, not everyone can homeschool. I'm speaking from personal experience. I tried it, and nearly went insane. Plus, my sons weren't learning...and I have a college degree. I tried teaching them, but they do better when taught by someone else. I wholeheartedly believe in home schooling, but it's not exactly the panacea that outsiders would assume that it is.
David Ziffer
Said this on 8-19-2008 At 02:25 pm
From a former home-schooler whose kids are now grown: excellent.
Lisa Berlin
Said this on 8-19-2008 At 05:35 pm
I agree with this article as a former homeschooler. However, I also agree that homeschooling is not for everyone and not for every child. I had great difficulty and I am a certified teacher. I also know a few children who could benefit from the structure of school.
N. Whitney
Said this on 8-19-2008 At 08:20 pm
Where we live outside of Washington, DC, there is an interesting mix of conservative Christian, liberal religious & non-religious folks, and lots of people in between who are all homeschooling their kids in spite of highly rated public schools. Our kids are not always well-behaved, but I can't tell you how often I'm complemented on how they're the "only non-spoiled kids" people have met. And the year one of my dd's went to public school, the teachers were uniformly impressed by the breadth and depth of her education, in spite of the struggles she and I have had from time to time. Homeschooling doesn't always work the way we'd hope, but when it does it's amazing. And in spite of all this I get hostile reactions from friends and family from all kinds of backgrounds to the reality of the success of homeschooling, and an amazing (to me) lack of curiosity about how homeschooling really works. (Most people have the strangest ideas about what it involves.) It is definitely threatening in many ways. Very sad.
R
Said this on 8-21-2008 At 10:05 am
Great, more stereotypes. I homeschool, and my kids don't walk serenely in the store! I don't wear dresses, and I wouldn't know how to make one. Drat, now I feel like a failure as a homeschooler.
Lisa Gonzales
Said this on 8-21-2008 At 10:52 am
The article is well written and thought provoking. The reasons that families choose to homeschool are many. For some, it is part of their religious and cultural convictions. For others, it is often the desire to take back control of how their children are not only educated, but nurtured. Many of us see homeschooling as a way to strengthen our family bonds and our children's natural love of discovery. The article points out that we, as homeschoolers, are thought of only as the immaculately groomed and seemingly angelic families that are spotlighted on television. Some see us as the polar opposite as dysfunctional, reclusive serial killers in training. The truth is, we are as diverse as any other segment of society. The vast majority of famiies simply choose to homeschool out of a sincere desire to provide their children with, what they feel, is the best opportunity for a strong foundation of security, self respect and acountability, and a lifelong love of discovery and learning. I absolutely agree that homeschooling is not for everyone and it is does have it's difficulties. That being said, the results speak for themselves and are obviously being noticed.
Mom of Three
Said this on 8-21-2008 At 02:06 pm
I find that many people lack confindence in their ability to parent. The most frequent comment I recieve when others discover we homeschool is: "Oh I could never do that!". The thought of being responsible for their children 24/7 is just too much. It saddens me to even think of sending my children off to school, but many mothers look forward to the "free time" the yellow bus brings. I am thankful to live in a country where we have a right to choose the type of education our children have. I choose homeschooling!
A.P.
Said this on 8-21-2008 At 02:31 pm
Excellent article with some very evident truths. Raising your own child with an eye to meeting your own criteria surely does put excellence above all else. The things you can achieve in a healthy home school environment are limitless. Schools these days are a frightening place to put a YOUNG CHILD who has yet to develop the tough skin and perverse attitudes needed to survive in them. I would not wish to spend time in that environment - why would I put my child there? They have strayed from the small school house which worked to a massive system that fails the very children that are relying on them. Sad there are so few other choices; hooray to the parent who can home school and make it work.
Homeschooling Mom wannabe
Said this on 8-22-2008 At 10:31 pm
Amen.
Julia McDonald
Said this on 8-27-2008 At 12:22 pm
Stairsteps walking well-behaved through a store could be my grandchildren but my daughter doesn't make her own dresses! Too bad that's the concept too many "outsiders" expect. And in our family you think we don't have interesting family get-togethers, our daughter homeschools her four, one son, a teacher/coach deals with the decision while the other is a school administrator and is still outraged - sees it as a slam against the public schools and teachers. I whole-heartedly support her work and listen patiently as the boys relate the problems they deal with daily, wondering why they can't see why she's chosen her path. The key is, let everyone make their own decisions about their children's futures and don't criticize what you don't know anything about.
Barb
Said this on 9-5-2008 At 10:14 pm
Great article - it made me chuckle!
We home school our youngest daughter, who is now 11 years old and who has never been to school.
When people ask me why we homeschool, I tell them that I once worked in a High School ..... enough said!
My daughter is articulate, funny, well read and well travelled, but when people find out that she has never been to school they wonder if she will develop normally!
I agree with the person who said that people disagree with homeschooling without really knowing very much about it - there are many misconceptions.
PAmom
Said this on 9-7-2008 At 06:12 am
What a shame homeschooled children with disabilities are still shunned and ignored.
HomeschooledGirl
Said this on 11-4-2008 At 12:08 pm
How ridiculous! I am a fifteen year old, homeschooled all my life, and in no way does my life resemble the life described here. I have tons of friends, shop at the mall, wear make-up, go lots of places, etc. What a stereotype!! Sure, some homeschool families do the whole homemade clothes thing, but most of them are just regular people.
Landon Vos
Said this on 12-25-2008 At 08:15 pm
I liked the article, but HomeschooledGirl has a point, I too have been homeschooled my entire 16 years.... But my life doesn't really mirror your stereotype... I know several families somewhat like that, the girls are modestly dressed, boys are respectful.... But I also know homeschoolers that were imodest clothing and boys that cuss and aren't really any different then puplic schools. I don't dress like the people in your story but my mom and dad raised my 3 sisters and I right and my parents keep getting compliments about how well behaved and respectful we are. You don't have to look like a "typical homeschooler" but, still act like them. I know kids who are both... also, a lot of homeschool parents I know do NOT have Masters Degrees, a lot of homeschool parents I know have a bacherlors degree and that is about it... But they still have some uber smart kids.... and like HomeschooledGirl said, most homeschoolers are just regular people.
Rebecca Weddle
Said this on 1-4-2009 At 09:55 pm
I agree with Landon and HomeschooledGirl. I'm sixteen, and I've been homeschooled my whole life. I know a lot of other homeschooled children and teens, and I have seen representations of both your stereotype homeschooled child, and those that resemble you're average public-schooled kid. It's what you find in bewteen these two extremes that counts - most of us are normal, fun-loving people who wear regular clothing and like to watch movies and listen to all types of music. We don't have any special homeschool superpowers that make us like the perfect family you described. We just do our best and trust God for the rest. =)

Still liked the article.
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