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Are you reading this during an unassigned teaching period and are you in the mood to play Russian roulette (not on Circular 6 menu)?Or is it more your cup of tea to impersonate a Roman gladiator and, at that Lipton moment, pause to look up to the Empress in the stands and await the pointing of her thumb: "up" means you live; "down" means you salute her and then disembowel yourself (professionally) to the cheers of anti-unionists.Michelle Rhee, the Washington D.C. schools chancellor, thinks that such self-disembowelment should be a contractual option and she is mad as hell at the union for getting in the way of her visionary reform.

If you like to live on the edge and have faith in the benevolent instinct of vipers, then Rhee, Madame Caligula, is your passport to professional oblivion.

The Dragon Lady of our Nation's Capital, Ms. Rhee sharpened her fangs and honed her hatcheting genius while under the tutelage of Joel Klein. Since her devil's discipleship she has established her own managerial underworld and become the architect of her own chopping block on the Potomac. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." That quaint expression applies to Rhee's agenda, except for the "good intentions" part. Still you can't have everything and after all she lays her own asphalt.

For a "road trip," read Saturday's New York Post article. The author, Linda Chavez, is a Fox News analyst, syndicated columnist, and was the highest ranking woman in Pr esident Reagan's cabinet. She used to work for the American Federation of Teachers, but in 1983 she in effe ct torched her union flag and with the fanaticism of a fresh co nvert, bought into the creed of militant anti-unionism.Her renunciation of where she came from is a give-away as to where she's going with her commentary.

Chavez adoringly subscribes to Rhee's plan for a "voluntary two-tier track for teachers…one is for teachers to potentially double their pay, but they would have to give up tenure for a year and would then need a principal's recommendation to keep their job…For teachers who choose the other track, they would get smaller pay increases and would lose their seniority rights…"

Hey gladiators of Tiers 1 through 4: Have you ever read a more nakedly venal and cynical plot to murder teacher unionism?Tenure and seniority right would be replaced by total submission and trust in the purity of judgment of motive of a principal (plus a part gift of=2 0a splash of shekels and pouch of pesos).

Rhee feels that tenure is, in Chavez's words, "a job protection that is no benefit to students." We all know that tenure exists in order to provide the due process protection, unencumbered by external pressures, that enables teachers to venture with their students into the democracy-nurturing exercise of critical thinking.

Chaves, echoing Rhee, says that "the unions' interest is solely in filling their own coffers with dues and maintaining their political power."(Maybe she was confusing teachers with doctors and the UFT with the AMA?Even if she were, it would be for the wrong reason.)

In the real world nothing decent gets done except through the virtuous and cunning use of political power. Protecting human rights is a down and dirty business sometimes and unions didn't make it that way. Unions should make no apologies for conforming to the rules of engagement. Was e ver a civil rights battle won without the back-up of some hard-nosed strategies?Unassisted moral purity never accomplished a damned thing. Are unions the only lobbyists? Spiritual ends are accomplished by material means.

And every penny of union dues is accounted for and is transparently dedicated to the interests of public education. That includes the securing of a fair standard of living for teachers. If that makes their devotion mercenary, so be it.

To the AFT's credit, they have refused, according to Chavez, to allow its membership to vote on Rhee's proposal.When it comes to workers' rights, it appears she believes in assisted suicide.Rhee and Chavez must think the AFT membership is a bunch of spoilsports for not soliciting their own execution. Maybe career terminators can be acquired under a no-bid contract?

Rhe e has "locked horns" with Randi Weingarten before, but i s hoping that a sympathetic Mayor Adrian Fenty will steady her training-wheels bike and hold her hand as she sharpens her horns for the next bump.

Ms. Rhee has tirelessly and tiresomely spread the anti-union infection wherever she can.She is entertaining the fantasy that President-Obama will side with her, but that consummation is highly unlikely, in my opinion.

Give her the thumbs down!

Published November 19, 2008